btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
