fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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