Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
