I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
