Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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