apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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