Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
