This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
