Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
