Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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