only if we run a train.
done.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
