Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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