he puts the penis in happiness.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
