You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
