He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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