STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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