Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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