i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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