She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
