I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
