maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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