I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize