Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
