Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
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I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's