im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
