...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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