she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
