Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Blow job season was short but glorious.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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