He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
