honey bunches of taint.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
