You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
