I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
