so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
