I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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