what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
