I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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