that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Randomize