Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
