My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
