I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
