she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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