For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
