Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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