my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
