i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
