The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
