awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
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If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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