Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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