He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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