she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
