OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
