I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
