it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
