if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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