I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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